A Husband's Prayers
Mr. & Mrs. Luke Zito…whoa
I’ve pretty much know that I was going to marry Mattie since 14 seconds after I saw her for the first time. Well, at least I knew that I wanted to. I remember when we first started dating, it was really exciting that she held my hand in the movie theater; but when we were walking out of the movie and she grabbed my hand and my head started spinning. I could not believe that she was ok with other people seeing that we were together. It took me a while to get over that fact. Now that we’re finally getting married, I couldn't be more thankful for this time and this woman, but now there are other things that are making my head spin. The role of Husband is a big deal and comes with a lot of responsibility, responsibility that I have been equipped for, but am constantly praying through. Join me?
Husbands love your wife as Jesus loves the Church.
This was so intimidating to me every time I heard it at a wedding. To me, it sounds like it means that I am expected to be perfect. That couldn't be further from the truth. As humans, Christian humans to be more specific, we are called to point to Christ and strive to be like Him. We are not expected to be perfect. That alone takes off so much pressure.
Now, to figure out what it does mean. Throughout scripture we see several different examples of how exactly Jesus loved the Church that show us on how to love our wives. We see Him constantly praying over the church. We see unrelenting grace, provision, & protection. We see Him speak truth whether it is encouragement or something we may not want to hear, but need to hear. I'm also called to aid in her pursuit of holiness as Jesus does with His bride, always pointing back to the Father. These are a few small examples Christ gives us of how to love so intimately.
Knowing that we are expected to do those things makes me really excited. I feel that it is kind of noble. I don’t normally use that word, but I can’t think of another way to describe how it makes me feel. I am honored to have that expected of me, but please pray for me to overcome the constant battle of laziness and passivity. When discussing this, Mattie challenged me to explain why this will be difficult for me, why it may intimidate me. I fought that internally for so long. I haven't wanted to write this because I kept telling myself it isn't necessary. I think I was afraid to face the truth. Sort of like I knew that the false narrative in this situation (you’ll fail at this, you’ll be a mediocre husband, etc…) was a false narrative. So, I didn't let myself work through it. I wouldn't even let myself face it. But, as taught in the #emochurch series by Dave Lomas this summer, facing your emotions, convictions, lies/false narratives is the first step in truly giving them to the Lord and overcoming them. So, here goes. I am afraid of being the Husband the Lord calls me to be. I’m afraid I’ll fall short. I don’t even know why or how I’ll fail, but I know its easy to be selfish. I know it is easy to be moody and independent. I know that it is easy to be needy while disregarding her needs. This is what I pray I will overcome every day. I pray that whatever it is, I will not be passive when it comes to her and our relationship. Even if everything else is failing in my life, I want to excel in this.
Putting Her First
It is a really simple concept, but voicing it makes it seem so effective. When working on something to better yourself, what we strive for is to make the improvement our default reaction. All in all, I am thankful for our time we had apart. I feel that we grew as individuals before becoming one and having a life of growing together. I also feel that we don't even know the full extent to how we grew but I trust that we went through this year for a reason. With all of that being said, it is still difficult. One of the biggest things I'm concerned about is the shift from a self centered focus. It has been difficult lately because as our lives are now, we are not truly a part of each other’s day-to-day. So, most of the decisions I make only impact me. This type of living is not conducive to a selfless heart. I think that when you are alone, being self centered to an extent is not a bad thing; its natural in fact. If there is no one else that you’ve committed yourself to on a daily basis then who else would you focus on than yourself? Your wants, your needs, your desires. Anyway, as far as our daily lives are concerned, we’ve become self centered in the past year. I am trying to keep this in the front of my mind as we are adjusting to living together. I strive to constantly put her before myself in every situation and trust that she is doing the same. If I wasn't with someone that I love and trust so much it would be scary, but honestly, I trust her to look after me more than myself, and pray to reciprocate that day in and day out. I trust that we will be able to do it, but I ask for prayer around that specifically for it to be a constant discipline as my current default is self centered. I pray to adjust that very soon and continue adjusting to that every day.
Those are just a few prayers of the many that I'm giving to the Lord as 10/10 approaches and our lives as husband and wife begins. I look forward to this partnership despite the lofty expectations as husband, and I'm forever grateful for your support as you lift our lives up to the Lord with us.
-Luke